• Greg Cheney, PhD, LMFT

4 Ways Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Improves Marriages

Updated: Jun 26

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an effective way to address marriage problems. It helps couples understand themselves, each other, and experience new ways of connecting. Communication improves, healing begins, and a fulfilling relationship seems within reach. Here are 4 ways how Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) makes this possible.

happy couple kissing in a field after experiencing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

It’s okay to have feelings.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps makes sense of your feelings and emotions. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, frustrated, discouraged, and lonely in a relationship. You might even feel guilty or ashamed when you think about these feelings and how you acted toward your partner. Sometimes it can even feel like your unhelpful actions happened in the blink of an eye. Your feelings and emotions ignite these actions in milliseconds, but they do not need to control you. They also do not need to derail your relationship.


There are good reasons why you feel and act the way you do when viewed through the lens of your experiences in life. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) explores how these experiences, emotions, and actions make perfect sense. Then EFT provides a way to prevent them from destroying your relationship.


When we are angry, we do not think straight.

When anger surfaces it is hard to communicate, and it is also hard to think straight. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is helpful when anger is destroying communication in your marriage. Trouble with communication also leads to feeling stuck in your relationship. Anger floods the senses with emotion and gets partners stuck in a negative communication pattern. Anger is often a main part of that pattern. It is helpful to understand what is fueling the anger. The fuel to the anger is often feeling misunderstood, unheard, and uncared for.


Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a type of couples therapy and marriage counseling that focuses on helping couples explore, identify, and share difficult emotions. An EFT therapist will facilitate this process in a constructive way. The result will be a better understanding of yourself, your partner, and an improved relationship.


You don’t have to stay stuck in an unhappy marriage.

Feeling stuck and unhappy in your relationship can feel hopeless. Bad communication, arguments, and unhealed hurts can feel hard to remedy. It is not unusual that when couples try to fix these aspects of their relationship their discussions go sideways. They even think or say things like, "Here we go again!" There is a distinct pattern that creates the experience of feeling stuck no matter what the topic is.


You do not need to feel stuck in your marriage anymore! If you’re feeling stuck, depressed, anxious, or hopeless about your relationship, then it’s time to seek professional help. An EFT therapist will help you experience your relationship in a new way. You can experience hope again! Your unhappy relationship may even begin to shift toward a happy relationship faster than you thought possible.


Science proves Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) works.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) sits on a foundation 35 years of scientific research! This large body of research demonstrates the effectiveness of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). These studies show that more than 70% of couples treated with EFT move from distress to recovery. Approximately 90% couples treated show significant improvements in their relationship! An EFT therapist will guide you in moving toward these positive results in your relationship. Find a couples therapist or marriage counselor today that specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)!


Counseling Services at Valiant Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling

Emotionally Focused Therapy isn’t the only service we offer in our Fuquay Varina counseling clinic. Other mental health services we provide include couples & marriage counseling, couples intensives, Christian marriage counseling, online therapy, and couples workshops.