- Greg Cheney, PhD, LMFT
5 Couples Goals for the New Year
What are your couples goals for the New Year?
The New Year seems to find most of us evaluating many areas of our lives, and the areas that mean the most to us can become the main focus for dreams of change. A quick search of couplesgoals on Instagram produces over 6 million posts! However, evaluating the relationship with the most important person in our life can be a vulnerable, and sometimes downright frightening experience-----especially if we dream of a more connected and fulfilling bond. Many couples take valiant steps toward renewal in their relationships, and we are here to help. Below are 5 couples goals for the New Year that may just help to spark your search for the couples goals that fits best for you and your partner.
1. Daily Updates. Strive to prioritize moments in your day to regularly update each other and your day. Schedules are usually challenging and crazy, but the more we can take advantage of opportunities to update our partner on the small details of the day the more connected we may feel. Perhaps key moments to look for in the day are in the morning and in the evening. Take this time to simply share what your day looks like in the morning and how your day turned out in the evening. These daily updates help us feel connected in our small details of the day, and open opportunities to show up for our partners (and our partners can show up for us) in the biggest joys and challenges of the day. A couple goal for the New Year may be daily updates.
2. Time Together.Connect over hobbies, projects, or activities that you and your partner like to do together. What do you and your partner both like to do for fun? It may be helpful to prioritize and schedule time throughout your busy week, or month, to spend time together doing activities you both enjoy. This time together over shared interests are often what we did when we first met our partners, but the logistics of life, a growing family, and more demanding careers tend to crowd this time together right out of our schedules. Another option is to spend time together exploring new hobbies or activities you may not have done before. A couple goal for the New Year may be time together.
3. Practice Empathy. Effective communication may be the #1 goal for many couples. There is a lot that goes into effective communication, but perhaps the foundation is working to truly hear and understand our partner's point of view to empathize with their experience. Easy to say, but difficult to put into practice when we do not feel heard and understood ourselves. This is especially true when we are frustrated and angry. Asking clarifying questions and open ended questions that are focused on understanding your partner's point of view can start to lay a foundation for effective communication. Often, practicing empathy is working to be with our partner when they have a tough day. Brene Brown offers a very helpful explanation in a clip on the difference between empathy and sympathy. A couple goal for the New Year may be to practice empathy.
4. Practice Vulnerability. Work to share your softer emotions that are frequently covered up by the harder emotions like anger. This takes practice since hard emotions come so quickly and easily push our softer emotions aside. A deep breath, or short break, may be helpful in creating some space to practice vulnerability by sharing softer emotions. Vulnerability may be more accessible when our partners are working to practice empathy. When couples are working to practice empathy and vulnerability with each other this combination works well together. A couple goal for the New Year may be to practice vulnerability.
5. Couples Therapy. Couples often benefit from the skills of a therapist that specializes in couples therapy. The couples goals covered above may become more accessible when you work with a skilled couples therapist. Our team at Valiant Couples Therapy specializes in couples therapy throughout North Carolina. You can expect us to seek to truly understand you and your partner where you both feel stuck in your relationship and join you in working to experience the relationship you always dreamed of. Feel free to contact us or send us an appointment request to get started.
Looking for more suggestions for couple goals? Check out the Best Hobbies for Couples -- Shared by 40 Relationship Experts for more recommendations!
What couples goals are you moving toward this year?
Our team in our Fuquay Varina counseling clinic specializes in couples & marriage counseling. Couples & marriage counseling is not the only service we offer. Valiant Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling provides Emotionally Focused Therapy, couples intensives, Christian marriage counseling, online therapy, and couples workshops.